Hi, I’m Helen.

Thank you for the gift of allowing me to share my gratitude and appreciation for the 12 Step Program and A Course in Miracles– it really is a Way Out.

My first experience with the AA program was when a friend told me his buddy (already a 12-Stepper) was a guest speaker at an “open” meeting and would I like to go along? The minute I stepped in the door of the meeting I started to cry! I wasn’t an alcoholic, or a drug addict, or a gambler, but I realized I was HOME. The honesty and acceptance of members, the stories of despair and hopelessness being “transformed” to freedom and happiness, was overwhelming. Little did I know that I was looking for something else - I thought I was a visitor! God really did take me by the hand.

My journey to recovery is still going on! After doing lots (and I mean lots) of personal development courses and searching for Who I Am, I was introduced to A Course in Miracles, my initial path to spiritual awakening. Now I discover that there is even more, a deeper contact with my Higher Power/ God of my understanding, by doing the 12 Steps, going to meetings, getting a sponsor and continuing to do the lessons of A Course in Miracles. Much to my surprise, it all happened very quickly, as God doesn’t wait around once my mind is open. Actually, as an addictive mind, I have always wanted instant gratification in all my endeavors! Now it’s God Speed for me - not my own agenda! Thank God!

I have been in the 12 Step program for five months, on my 9^th Step, and making amends wherever I can. It is exciting, scary, and very revealing. I see how addicted I am to keeping everything to myself and wanting to control – “cunning and baffling mindset”, as they say in the program. By working the program, I am able to get down on my knees (which I never did before), pray to God for help, and more importantly, say “thank you” for the peace of mind I’ve been given. Somewhere I thought that God would not see the defects in my character and He doesn’t - but I do! I hung onto grievances like a bull terrier dog gnawing at a bone until it was in shreds - better still until I was in shreds! My grievances and resentments kept me in hell, and still do if I don’t continually watch my thoughts, do my lessons, and work the steps. Jesus, in A Course in Miracles, tells me that my grievances hide Who I really am - the Light of the world!

I just talked to my sponsor via MSN Messenger and I go to online 12 Step meetings - wonderful for the “shut-in”. There are always contacts (you are at one now) if I want them (there is a God)! In the Miracles Prisoner Ministry I have seen amazing and exciting “awakenings” of inmates/myself, who really want to experience the Peace of God, and personally “know” their Higher Power. All this has been given to me through God and my willingness to realize I know nothing and can learn everything if I ask with all my heart.

Well, I think I’ve said enough for the moment.  Keep coming back, it works if you work it, and work it because you’re worth it! God bless us each and everyone.