Step One of the 12 Step Program asks us to realize that we are powerless over alcohol (or whatever your addiction is) and that we are unmanageable over our lives.  In order to proceed through the rest our undoing we have to take this first step, without it no real awakening can occur.  Actually, for us addicts, to reach the conclusion that we are unmanageable and powerless we must have had some sort of awakening beyond our grasp.  At no point during our addiction did we stop relying on ourselves and our intelligence and start relying on a Higher Power.  If we did the addiction would have ceased to exist. 

The moment when our dependence switches from worldly satisfaction to a Higher Power, or God, we feel a rush of total communication with everything that it cannot not fill every craving we ever had.  I love it!  When I’m standing in pure communication, everything I thought mattered and was so important slips away.  This is the light of resurrection, this is who you truly are, without a body, without your human self concepts, and without any need not already satisfied.  That is why true addiction can only be solved by a total dependency on God or a Source that you didn’t create but created you.  You really can only be satisfied but a Power that is all inclusive, we addicts know this because we want everything and we want it now.  Where do you think this need came from?  We remember life when we were content and can’t understand how people can live in this place without some sort of help. 

Being in communication with a true and loving God is the only solution to this place of endless conflict and devastated dreams.  When I enter into a place of pure communication I’m freed of every constraining and persecuting thought I’ve ever had.  From this point there is no need but to extend the light that is in my mind and really to be that light extending.  Yes, we seem to live in a world of bodies, with jobs and all that, but that will never be enough to quench the craving for something more, it wasn’t before we became addicted and it won’t be after.  The creator of the 12 Step Program didn’t sit down logically and think “Well, I’m addicted; let me come up with some way to get out of it.”  No, he was knocked out of bed in a hospital dying from his disease and had a full blown light experience.  He then realized that he had to give this experience away. 

It is up to you now to decide what it is you really want.  Are you still finding yourself depressed, anxious, or looking for something here to fill the void.  Be relived that you have been given the opportunity now to know that you don’t have to search in vain.  There is a way out and it doesn’t lie in results in time in space.  Your sanity, freedom, and pure holy experience lie in your Creator.  God will give you the experience that you literally were dying to find.  You have have it here and now if you choose.  He is with us. 

“This world you seem to live in is not home to you.  And somewhere in your mind you know that this is true.  A memory of home keeps haunting you, as if there were a place that called you to return, although you do not recognize the voice, nor what it is the voice reminds you of.  Yet still you feel an alien here, from somewhere all unknown.  Nothing so definite that you could say with certainty you are an exile here.  Just a persistent feeling, sometimes not more than a tiny throb, at other times hardly remembered, actively dismissed, but surely to return to mind again.

       No one but knows whereof we speak.  Yet some try to put by their suffering in games they play to occupy their time, and keep their sadness from them.  Others will deny that they are sad, and do not recognize their tears at all.  Still others will maintain that what we speak of is illusion, not to be considered more than but a dream.  Yet who, in simple honesty, without defensiveness and self-deception, would deny he understands the words we speak?

     When you are still an instant, when the world recedes from you, when valueless ideas cease to have value in your restless mind, then will you hear His Voice.  So poignantly He calls to you that you will not resist Him longer.  In that instant He will take you to His home, and you will stay with Him in perfect stillness, silent and at peace, beyond all words, untouched by fear and doubt, sublimely certain that you are at home.

       Take time today to lay aside your shield which profits nothing, and lay down the spear and sword you raised against an enemy without existence.  Christ has called you friend and brother.  He has even come to ask your help in letting Him go home today, completed and completely.  He has come as does a little child, who must beseech his father for protection and for love.  He rules the universe, and yet He asks unceasingly that you return with Him, and take illusions as your gods no more.

       You have not lost your innocence.  It is for this you yearn.  This is your heart's desire.  This is the voice you hear, and this the call which cannot be denied.  The holy Child remains with you.  His home is yours.  Today He gives you His defenselessness, and you accept it in exchange for all the toys of battle you have made.  And now the way is open, and the journey has an end in sight at last.  Be still an instant and go home with Him, and be at peace a while.” (Lesson 182 of A Course in Miracles)