What if someone told you there is a total moment of pure freedom available to you right now upon this unabashed whole recognition of your complete unmanageability and abundant powerless self will? That this Step is not only one in twelve, but also one in its Self?   

So we find ourselves unmanageable and powerless not only over our addiction, but also over our entire lives and not only over our lives, but everyone else's.

What an incredible experience!

Yes, it could be devastating, including intense depression, endless crying, uncontrollable rage, pure frustration, utter feelings of hopelessness, countless hours of self pity, intense moments of anxiety, riddling worry, desires for death, and so on. Coupled with the ever so slight revelation:
  
 
"I can't control this and I am completely powerless." Congratulations, you are now a member of our society.

Our society is open to those who are desperately hopeless in this chaotic world of self will run riot. And if you are a human, this applies to you.

There's a part in A Course in Miracles which states, "All those who realize they know nothing and are willing to learn everything will learn it."

So, do you know nothing? Has your knowledge of everything brought you to this hopeless moment of total desperation? Is your way the easier, softer way? Or is it lined with pain, loneliness, and fear? How honest can you stand to be with yourself?

What if someone told you there is a total moment of pure freedom available to you right now upon this unabashed whole recognition of your complete unmanageability and abundant powerless self will? That this Step is not only one in twelve, but also one in its Self?

This revelation without limits of any kind has already been had by you.  With your awareness or not, a whole You has been calling from this endless peace and joy. The call has been gentle because of the true faith and trust in your innocence, and your inner ear perked up quite unexpectedly to this perfect alternative. This total solution is with you right now, holding you safely in its all-encompassing embrace.  For one brief second your flailing stopped, you admitted complete defeat, and realized what was once thought to be a violent earthquake, shattering all the carefully built concepts, was only a gentle rocking of the truth.

You can rest now, safe in your defenselessness against your unmanageability and powerlessness.

Time and space have no relevance here, nothing makes sense, and right or wrong become meaningless beliefs.  Pure peace has become your total experience.

From this new vantage point, all that seemed to haunt you and ravage you becomes as a tiny mouse easily handled and released. The whole world as you once knew it melts away in a pile of dust swept away by the happy lavish breeze of your new fresh mind. All this from your tiny revelation of complete and total unmanageability and powerlessness.

My first time through the Steps I took this first one in stride. Sure I was unmanageable and powerless. Yeah, I had the experience of changing everything in my life:  location, partners, jobs, clothes, hair, friends, and the way I talked, ate, exercised, and so on. I was still in hell, drinking and finding myself back in the ‘same ‘ol spot,' despite all I tried to change on my own self-will. It was never enough, something was wrong.

My second experience with this Step happened almost a year and a half after my sobriety date. The drinking and obsession to drink had been miraculously removed from my life, but this time I felt my mind consumed with thoughts of all kinds, and the reflection I was receiving from all those around me was dark and vengeful. I tried everything I once believed would work:  talking with friends, trying to figure out ways to solve my problems one by one, implementing every way I had used in the past to get out of a funk, and praying.

Suddenly it dawned on me that I was totally unmanageable (with some help and hinting from my sponsor), and I was trying, flailing, and drowning in every way to remove my own thoughts from my head.

What seemed to be total devastation and hopelessness was actually a wake up call that I was avoiding by trying to solve the problem.

I gave up. What once appeared to be a condition of living where I thought I could manage at least some things became crystal clear that any effort on my part yanked me into despair. The gray existence became completely black and white, total light or total darkness, me unmanageable- me manageable.

And in that place, which could only seem to be embarrassing weakness, all those around me came with experiences of how great I looked, their hopefulness from seeing me, their relief that finally someone said what they felt.

We were all free.  I couldn't manage myself, and I couldn't manage them. I was totally defeated, defenseless and vulnerable and yet totally free from every binding, restricting, painful idea through the realization that by my own self will I was powerless.

Instead of moving off what felt like an uncomfortable point of fear, I was forced to stand still through my revelation that any attempt to do anything was just my effort to manage the situation.

What an incredible experience.

How did I get so blessed? What a huge moment that something so brand new could be opened up to me, so different, so beyond all I thought would solve my problem. I came to the point where I knew nothing but desired everything; I was ready to learn it and did.

For you this step will be as difficult and hard or as easy and free as you want or need it to be. How much do you want to hold on? In the end it doesn't matter because even the smallest speck of the recognition that you are unmanageable in all your affairs will lead you to a moment you might have never come across before. You are here, right here and now, choosing again. Here you are, unmanageable and through your self-will, powerless.

What an amazing opportunity, an incredible, exciting time! The choice is yours. Whatever it is, your holy perfect self is waiting to be revealed to you now. We're standing in the light, welcoming you with fully opened arms. All the resources and help are with you now. And everyone in and out of time and space, your perfect Self, is cheering you each time you come to this point: totally defeated, totally powerless and totally unmanageable, and asking with total disregard, total mercy and desperation:

“Please help me, right here and now, in this place I find myself.”