When I came into the 12 Step and AA program, I would observe the happy people in the room, how they seemed to flow through this world laughing at the obstacles or honestly exposing them in order for a healing to occur.  I was so taken aback by the honesty.  At first I thought these "old timers" were just managing their lives better than I was, but when I landed on the 1st Step I realized managing had nothing to do with it.  Then I thought their lives were so good because God had restored their sanity and it made it easier to cope with the world.  But then I found out sanity has nothing to do with this world.  When I'm sane I'm not in this world or from this world, and it's insanity that thinks there is a world to be dealt with.  So then I thought, "Well, these people are just making good decisions."  But I realized they, in fact, made only one decision: not to decide.

And here's where I stand with you, not deciding.  I choose God because I learned in the first two steps that all my best decisions brought me to a place in my addiction where I couldn't stop.  All my best intentions to live right and act proper utterly failed me at every turn.  My desire to drink was miraculously lifted from me on what was supposed to be a major drinking escapade.  I don't know how it happened. I had asked for help and truly wanted something else, but why then and there I have no idea.

I am only here to do God's will now.  I have given my will and my life over to the care of Him.  When my mind is aligned with His, there is no greater joy for me.  I know that whatever I create for myself is not life; I know what life really is now.  I don't know how best to describe it, but when I'm in the heart and peace of God, I'm in communication with all things and there is no resistance anywhere.  Can the decision for this peace be hard to make?  Yet we all have to make it at some point because the futility of trying to live a life in a separate existence will only bring pain.  It's that idea I drank to avoid, but that I couldn't escape.  Now when I turn my will and my life over to the care of God I have a solution in an impossible situation.  Without God I'm lost, leading my own life into oblivion.  With God I have a way, a truth and a life.

All I want you to know is that there is help, whether you're on your knees in the morning giving your life to your Higher Power, or saying the third step prayer before you sit down and write your fourth step, you have help.  Everyone from out of time is helping you, all the recovered addicts before you stand in the certainty that a healing will occur.  And, of course, God, who knows you only as perfect, is guiding you back to the healing light that is your own reality.  With this one decision you no longer have to be worried, afraid, or undecided.  You have help and it never ever leaves you.  In fact it's the one true thing that you can count on.  I did and am and have never looked back.